I was a fat kid…I was a really fat kid.

Hi. My new show is coming.

It’s called “I was a fat kid… I was a really fat kid.” It’s true stories about growing up a weirdo in the Heart of Appalachia. Seriously.

I’ll be doing 3 shows in Portland, as part of the Fertile Ground Festival in January. I’ll be doing 6 shows in Seattle as well.
I’d really like it if you could come.

Here’s the link to buy tickets to my Portland show only.

OR if you want to buy a pass for the whole awesome Fertile Ground Festival do it HERE

Here’s what Bret From ANNEX Theater in Seattle said: “Portland storyteller Nathaniel Boggess transforms his childhood as a fat outcast into rueful, squalid, and comic tales of Booberry cereal, wedgies, cruel nicknames, and working at just about every fast food restaurant imaginable. Boggess’s deceptively offhand performance style puts a sly spin on adolescent awkwardness and misery.” Which sounds awesome to me.

So please… come… tell your friends.

Seriously?

EYE to EYE

I really like my job… most of the time. I’m a freelancer though and sometimes I have to do things that are less than pleasant, but I get paid well enough for what I do, and I can’t complain.

Last night I was scrubbing the toilets of a place I occasionally work and while scrubbing the toilet, my least favorite of the tasks that I have to do, a little drop of water leapt from the toilet and went directly into my eye. This water had equal parts fecal matter and Bon Ami Cleaner. It was either too small, too fast, or some combination thereof, for me to see and it hit my eye. Not my eyelid, my eyeball. The only way it could only have been worse if it had gone directly in my mouth, and I’ve been trying to figure out which I would have preferred if I had been asked.

I spent the next 7 minutes rinsing my eye out in the sink. This led me to thinking about life. Why did the shit-water go right into my eye? Why didn’t it go into my mouth or on my shirt or arm or anyfuckingwhere but my eye. Why add injury to the insult of cleaning the toilets?

I concluded that it’s because life wanted it that way. Life wanted to throw shit water and powdered household cleaner in my eye and it did. Because it can.

Spit.