Hair Cut.

I got my haircut yesterday. I think my hair is nice. I like it. And I was super happy that the other day someone had said that my hair was “pretty”. I was relaying this to my hair cutter. She’s a sweet person, a native of LA, and very stereotypically LOVES gossip.

Anyway, I said to her that someone had said my hair was “pretty” and that I thought that was awesome.
She said without hesitation, “They probably just meant you had a lot of it.”

“Oh…” I said, “so… they didn’t mean that my hair was actually pretty.”

“Well, when they said it was pretty they probably just meant you had a lot of it, cause you have a LOT of hair.”

I double clarified this just to make sure, “Not that it’s pretty just bountiful.”

“Yeah…”

Thanks hair cut lady.

Isn't he/she darling?

We Are Fucked (3)

Take my money... Please.

Look closely in the right hand corner of this photo.
These dryer sheets will not only eliminate static, they’ll make your laundry smell like fresh linen. They will make your laundry smell, LIKE FRESH FUCKING LAUNDRY.

It’s not even CLEVER. It’s the marketing equivalent of a hobo with a sign that says, “Why lie… i need a beer.” No shit dickhead. Thanks for ruining this for both of us. How am I supposed to give a bum money if we don’t both pretend it’s the right thing to do to help him feed himself. Likewise for you Bounce… at least make it smell like some other bullshit flavor. My favorite being “Rain”…

Other new products to be on the look out for are: Milk Flavored Milk, Baguette flavored bread, and Pie flavored Pumpkins.