Sometimes, with my work I get lots of jobs, and sometimes not. Sometimes I’m off work for a week or more. Sometimes at work I wish I could have just a little more time to work on the things I want to work on, like writing and stuff. Then I get a bunch of time off without warning and I have that time. Which lends me the opportunity to start thinking early in the day and second-guessing all the decisions I’ve ever made. I usually start by wondering if I’ll ever work again… I mean, did I bum someone out? I know that I forgot to ask for no onions but I hope that doesn’t mean they’ll never hire me again. WHAT IF THEY NEVER HIRE ME AGAIN. Oh god what am I doing, I should have become an art teacher like my grandmother said. I should never have moved so far from home. And seriously why DID my second girlfriend from college marry that weird looking dude with a shitty sense of humor, I mean COME ON. I’m funny. Right? Like, I’m pretty funny and nice and stuff and that guy is married to a beautiful, funny lady who is now a DOCTOR and he DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A JOB. I guess I don’t have a job either. I mean really, what have I done? Nothing. Well almost nothing. I DID find a sweet deal on a tv last week so… there’s that.
After a few days of this I usually get a job, and I’m really grateful for it. Cause I love to work. But shit… I just wish I had enough time to write all the things I wanna write. Then the microwave beeps and I am glad that my frozen chicken strips are done thawing.