My Advice to You…

As most of you know I recently ended a relationship (see previous entry). It was mutual and we both are much happier now I’m sure. But I got to thinking about things… I got to thinking about them while looking at a painting. My most recent ex worked in the art field and we talked a LOT about art. About the art world. The art community et all. So, standing before this painting I thought about her, and our relationship, and all of the ways that it didn’t work. This painting, as well as almost any sculpture or art event, reminded me of her, and our relationship, and our subsequent break up.

Upon further reflection, I offer this small piece of advice to anyone considering a relationship. Be mindful of what that person does or is. Let’s say you date an architect, a person who makes buildings… well EVERY TIME YOU ARE IN A BUILDING you are going to be reminded of that person. Or if you date a dentist, or a dental hygienist, every time you brush your teeth (which is hopefully two to three times a day) you are going to think of them, and the thing they did or didn’t do, or that you did or didn’t do, that eventually led to the end of your union. If you date a plumber, then water, and the toilet, and the shower become a constant nagging reminder of your failures in relationships. A barista? Coffee… every… morning.

If possible, I recommend someone in a field that is either completely irrelevant, or someone who’s occupation already carries a negative connotation. Such as an astronomer, or a customer service rep for a cell phone company, or a Disc Jockey for a commercial radio station. The more obscure, annoying, and useless the occupation, the better. If that person has a doctoral degree in a language or math, you’re probably safe.

So be careful when you are selecting someone that you may have to break up with, because whenever I have to get my haircut, I sigh a quiet lament for all the things that I didn’t do right.

Not for sitting.

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